NRI , Trying to demystify

  

Non resident indian (NRI) is a very interesting status . I have myself been one and enjoyed it and that’s the reason I thought of penning my take on it . I have seen interacted with people who immigrated in 60/70’s to the current one who are going to do the undergraduate programs . Folks in india have a lot of misconceived notions about NRIs . They are usually considered to be loaded , big cars , swanky house , Vacation to exotic location  , basically passport to good life and that’s the reason why so many people seek to immigrate in search of better opportunities ,but all that glitter is not gold . They also go through their own ups and down and they have earned whatever status they have earned .

To understand this phenomenon one will have to dig a deeper and understand their background etc in which they immigrated (Since my main interactions have been with the one who immigrated to US , so it is quite possible that the experience in other countries might be different) 

Indian have travelled to various countries since ages in search of employment and livelihood since ages . One can see ethnic Indians in almost island which produce sugarcane : Maldives , maturities, Fiji , West Indies , South Africa etc . There are lot of indian settlers in whole of africa and ASEAN countries . Developed word or western world immigration is mainly post independence. The earlier immigrants went by sea route for either trade purposes or as farm labor but post independence and advent of air travel indian started looking at US and Europe for better opportunities and lifestyle. US became more preferred because of the open policies , environment ,opportunities . 

The first lot of immigrants who went went in 50’s and 60’s were usually engineering and medical professionals, who took the went higher studies route for immigration. These people really worked very hard to achieve a good life as US was also growing and they also had to face a lot of hardship , not just economic and cultural but getting accepted in the mainstream. This generation and their kids faced a lot of cultural identity issues as Americans were also getting used to a barrage of ethnicity being bombarded in them and mind you this was America which did not had voting rights for women and black . This generation really had the hard way of facing ethnic , cultural and identity issues . Leave aside getting indian spices etc . One of my cousin who immigrated in ‘67 in US and her kids have interesting experience to share . She came to india for the first time after four years of landing in US and mind you the only mode of getting any news or giving any news was a letter and that too took 3 weeks to reach and was also not that cheap . Another interesting fact which she shared was that every time she has come to india after that has been cheaper , in dollar terms , and has taken lesser time than before . The first time she came to india , it took her three nights from LA to delhi , as she has to travel from LA to NYC, NYC to London, London to mumbai and than mumbai to Delhi . Phew . One helluva journey and costed 2500 $ per person . At that time the indian as an ethnic group was quite small and US was Wild Wild West . This generation worked really hard and was torn between their birth land and adopted mother land . Even bigger challenge was for the kids as they faced two different culture , one inside the home and other outside . Their friends in school were usually Caucasian and their cultural experience with them was very different than the one at their home . The indian parents wanted their kids to excel in education with indian value system and indian food . Weekend meant going to a temple or huddling for a pot luck with indian families . Vacation meant going to india , that too after couple of years and if by chance they went within US than usually it meant staying at some indian family home, At time at friends friend place . Tough life would be an understatement for this. The mental state of the kids of this generation was best described as “Confused” and so the term “ABCD” was coined ie “American born confused desi”. There was another analogy been drawn – Coconut “Brown from outside ,white from inside”. A common phenomenon which was observed was when the kids went to college ,away from the clutches of their parents/ATM , a lot of them went berserk and tried a lot of thing to get merged with the white crowd and usually tried to stay away from anything indian But somehow most of them ended up mingling with people like them only ,at best with other Asians.

The  generation which  immigrated in 80’s was slightly more adventurous and got more acceptance . The American had truely blossomed into a land of opportunities, was also more receptive to diverse culture but were exposed to indian culture and started accepting them. The number of indian started swelling up and were seen in all walks of life be it corner store to gas stations to indian restaurants and cabbies . This was the period when a lot of graduate from IIT’s started landing in US and started doing well in corporate life as well. This generation of engineers and doctors started making the mark in American society . Simultaneously illegal immigrants from Punjab and Gujarat also started landing in North America . This was the time when a lot of immigrants of 60’s have got their citizenship’s and have even started sponsoring their sibling to immigrate to US. These non professional started capitalising on the business opportunities which had started to mushroom . Gujrati’s got into the Motel business , 7/11 store , dunkin donuts and newspapers stalls, indian grocery store etc and the one from Punjab got into Trucking , farming , Liqour store , Gas stations , QSR, indian restaurants etc . This lot took up business which were labour intensive but less risky . All the family used to work hard and than they replicated their model . The percentage of Motel owned by patel is around 75% across the US . So a motel is now jokingly called a Potel . This lot worked quite hard and were suitably rewarded for their efforts . 

The 90’s saw the tech boom starting and then the techies stormed the US like their is no tomorrow. They were the luckiest of the lot and unlike of the earlier immigrants did not faced much hardship . They landed with a well paying job from day one and neither did they faced cultural identity issues at work place or in other public places . The IT department of all corporate used to look like an office of indian IT companies with smell of sambhar, screen saver of Tirupati and free use of indian language . They were all looked up with awe as they led the perfect American Dream from the day one . Yours truely also landed in US of A during this period . There was a huge requirement of techies across US and the earlier lot had created huge equity for Indians as hardworking and good techie which all reaped to the full advantage. A lot of small and big desi sweat shops also opened to get indian techies to US . In places like Silicon Valley and New York , it was mayhem . Most of the apartment complexes were just filled with indian families and one could smell Rajma , cholle, Sambhar and rice all over the corridor. The best were the summer time when they used to get their parents to visit them . A Caucasian was looked as a foreigner;-) . A lot of indian used their entrepreneurial skills and made their mark in big league as well . There were a tonne of success stories of indian techies making millions and billions . In the meanwhile a sizeable chunk also switched into doing MBA and got into investment banking , consulting etc as well . So we have A R R I V E D and arrived with a bang . Suddenly the number of flight to india from all major US cities multiplied and the best part was the business class of these flights being mostly filled by Indians and a lot of times being paid out of their own pocket , not on company account . The acceptance of Indians in US can be gauged by Priyanka Chopra as female protagonists in a very successful TV serial and not as some indian.Unlike till like 15 years ago where the presence of a symbolic indian actor in entertainment industry was a typical techie or doctor with funny accent AKA “Appu” in simpsons . It was during this age that NRI Indians start accepting and embracing their ethnicity and which was manifested in movies like “American Desi”, “Namesake” which depicted this confusion started getting a lot of response.  Indians are now well entrenched and established in US society at least professionally, Maybe there are some freak cases still happening of racial discrimination or ethnic violence. In the meanwhile india also did quite well economically and unlike till 90’s when they mainly went for masters and that too on scholarship, there is huge number of indian students going to top US universities without scholarships as well and even for their undergraduate program . This is a major change from the past . We even have governors and other political representatives and who knows when we might might have a indian origin POTUS . Indian orgin people are now also actively supporting various political system and contributing generously in fund raising . All political parties are reaching out to them not just for the money but for the political support as well .We already had indian origin head of states in Mauritius, Maldives, Fiji , Ireland , West Indies island etc . Canada and specially British Columbia had seen indian born premiere and indian hold a very key position in selecting the head of state their . Even trump said “Abki baar trump Sarkar “ just to rhyme with the NAMO slogan of ‘14 Election to please the indian diaspora. The indian origins are now also exerting by being generous donors for various political outfits as well . This was the time when an NRI groom was every parent wanted and prospective brides ticket to the fabled US lifestyle .

The result is that most of current residents of indian origin do not have identity crisis and wear their indian cultural heritage and identity without much reservation. A classic example of organising the big fat indian wedding with full fanfares, compete with elephants , Bollywood style dance and music and sumptuous indian spread and decor to elaborate rituals.They simply don’t miss india except for the chaos , heat , pollution,etc . Even one can have  authentic indian food in most parts of the world without much fuss . There are tonne of places across major cities in the top cities where one can get the feel of karol bagh or chandni chowk, be it south hall of london or jackson height and queens in new york ,el camino real in bay area or devon street in chicago, meena mazar of dubai,serangoon in singapore can get you everything indian from trousseau to Kala Bandar chaap dant manjan . If you walk into the diamond district in New York , you will be surprised that to hear english as the main language is Gujarati and will found a errand boy running with a kettle of indian masala tea and samosa and dhokla . the Temple and various regional associations are more popular among NRI’s than even the brethren back home. Many who in India weren’t regular to visit temple etc visit and participate in such activities with great fervour overseas, as temple etc for NRI’s are more than just religious places but places for engagement with fellow Indian’a and community members . As Indian’s become wealthy and business flourish there is another group of NRI’s who’s business in very much based in India 🇮🇳but their legal status is NRI. In fact what is less known is the fact that many industrialists and their families are NRI’s by legal status even though they and their business are firmly entrenched in India. This is due to tax efficiency and being domiciled in low tax jurisdictions and ability to own and operate capital without restrictions of declaring bank accounts etc etc in India. In short being an NRI not only allows an Indian business professional to experience the benefits of convertiblity, low taxes, free movement of capital without being ensnared by the restrictive Indian laws but a better lifestyle to family as well. 

Having said that , there are now some other issues which I have observed in interaction with these various groups . The group which moved in 60/70’s still have their concept of india  from the time they left and since their kids and immediate family is in US therefore they visit less often but it becomes difficult for them to fathom the changing culture of Indians in india ,which they so dearly cling to all this while . They also find india as very expensive , which it is . These lot also have become quite religious as well and are now practising and reading about religion and culture quite a lot maybe because they are done with their responsibilities and have thus become quite calmer. The people who moved in 80’s are now busy with marrying their kids . Moreover this is the lot which has the best financial health as well . They have the biggest houses and swankiest cars . They are usually high energy in community as well . More over most of them are now touching 60’s and want to have fun . They are usually done with their professional rigour and so are at peace and want to enjoy the fruits of their hard work. Most of this generation in US have couple of their siblings in india whom they have helped in some way or the other , if the need be and their siblings have taken care of their parents or are taking care of them thus they are free from that responsibilities as well. 

The immigrants in 90’s and earlier 2000 are usually the one who have a lot of social responsibilities not only for the immediate family in US but the ageing parents in india as well . This is because they are the products of 70’s & 80’s where the concepts of “Hum Do, Humaare Do “ had really caught up & thus  most of them have responsibilities of the ageing parents in india to also responsibilities of kids to be chaperoned to good school, and on top of it they face stiff competition at work place as well from younger high energy lot . I see quite a few of them have a lot of opinion about india and at times its quite strong and moreover they are quite vocal as well, Maybe perils of social media . Maybe its more of an age phenomenon that these guys are into and is true whether one is in india or anywhere else .

But the journey is usually quite the same for most legal immigrants , go to college , work hard for scholarship and studies ,huddle with couple of other indian students in an apartment, Cope with extreme weather ,work harder to get a job and try to correct one's accent , once get a job than join the corporate world and start the NRI dream journey by again probably living in an apartment or sharing it . start going on occasional vacations with friends to those patel places (NYC,Las Vegas and other touristy places for those photo ops to be flaunted to friends and family back home) . Buy a car and getting it washed on alternate weekend , trying to go to some bar and usually being unsuccessful in trying to get friendly to a good looking guy or gal . Than the india trip and family pressure to get married ,meeting prospects and trying to impress them with your lifestyle and accent . But usually the criterion is employability potential & looks   which might get swapped depending upon the person. Than that long distance relationship and calling back india to one's fiancee regularly and updating on hourly basis . discussing for hour ,the room decors of the new apartment or the dress one will wear on the wedding . And than the big fat NRI wedding where a white guy is a must as good omen . Coming back home with the set of masala's, indian utensil,customary idols of gods and goddess and most important is Mom's recipe book which is supposedly the life saver . and Oh I forgot to mention the customary break journey of europe or asia as money saver honeymoon is a must . Weekend are spent shopping household stuff or visiting nearby scenic places ,getting driving lessons and than the license and than the a long weekends come where one has planned to go to one HIGH DENSITY tourist place.There one is swamped with tonne of indians ,It can be Niagra or NYC or Las Vegas or Florida or California but Indians or DESI as they are called globally will be found in abundance in all sizes and dresses but one thing which is common is the packed spicy indian food most of them will be carrying . Than the planning for the  kids starts and they move to a single family home and buy a Van when the kid arrives .Time for the parents or in-laws to visits ,to baby sit , They are spotted in parks and mall with moms in their sarees and sneakers .I somehow found it very cute . The focus now shifts on saving for future , kids school and education ,curricular and extra curricular activities .Weekends are spent mowing lawns , going to temple , tending birthday parties,anniversaries ,diwali ,holi bashes and most important the grocery shopping at wholesale stores and buying gifts or gift cards in wholesale.House are bought based on the school district and the parents drive around them in various tennis,basketball,piano,jazz ,Bharat natyam,sanskrit,hindustani classic ,soccer ,robotics ,etc classes . In this meanwhile the guy might like to pick up golf,he enjoys going out but is usually not that regular . VIts not quite common to find an NRI into adventure sports ,but lately its changing ,one can see NRIs are getting into fitness,active sports etc as well .When the kids get into high school and than the pressure of getting into a good university is felt more by parents than the kids ,on top of it they have to watch the kids if does not behave like a local ie he is culturally and behaviour wise decent . They work hard to get their kids into a good university ,preferably preparing for a lawyer , doctor or an engineer ,this preference is in this order because of the pay of these profession .Than the starts the season of high school graduation party,college grad party and than the kid takes up job and is ready to rewrite this same process .The parents usually now feel a void as they have a lot of time for themself and than they start enjoying life after a while like meeting friends,visiting india often , preparing for kids wedding , start getting into community service ,travelling the world etc etc .This is how I have seen the circle of life of NRIs.  

NRI grooms was also considered a prized catch in most of the cases and specially so in culture where US holds a very special status , I mean Punjab , Andhra and Gujarat ,Not that they aren’t look up in other part of the country .There have been a lot of cases of NRI fooling the gullible indian girls into marrying by cashing on the NRI tag. There have been all sort of scams ,be it the man was already secretly married and married for whether he did not had the guts to tell his parent or at time because they were getting huge dowry , you name it and somebody had been through that nightmare ,not that these types of cases donot happen in india but What’s unique is that in most of these cases the usual sufferer is the girl and that too in a foreign land . There are a certain cases where the males were also used and abused by the female.

There used to be time when the NRIs really had tough time , times when communication was missing and if available was very expensive , they used to face a lot of racial discrimination but could not leave their adopted land , got torn between the diametrically opposite culture of the mother land and adopted land , dilemma of what culture to impart to their kids , always stuck with india emotionally but cant do much , getting news of various happy and not so happy about family back home and could not tend to them .Watching hindi movies much after they were released or to try to get the perfect Chat or spices or celebrating the festivals . And than trying to create a family in the foreign land who they at best could meet on a weekend only. Tough life ! Finally all these are past now , at times the movies get released earlier , get some of the best indian food as authentic as it can be, they can walk with their head high and do not have to to be shy of india or explain some freaky questions about our culture .

Lately the NRI are the true representative of new INDIA , confident energetic , young and ambitious thus they are acting as ambassadors of india and are in turn boosting the image  of their motherland .Finally they are not just rich cousins leading good life who one use to flaunt . NRI are not just exerting themself but been raiding on international corporate & entrepreneurial canvas. They are an important symbol and export of india which not only remits more than 60 billion USD every year to homeland but also are building image of india and indian from the earlier one as a land of snake charmer as was depicted in Hollywood flicks but more as a country which has various facets , Not just the Mystic Benaras but techie mecca Bengaluru , not just tranquil Himalayas but a fast paced Mumbai. To land of Sundar Pichai ,Satya Nadela not just the land of mystics like  Mahesh yogi and Rajnish or yogis. The government of india is also bending backwards to get them on their side and have lately been wooing the NRIs to not only boost india’s image but also to invest in indian economy through their companies and other vehicles . Govt is try to give all sorts of SOPs to felicitate their support ,a strategy straight out of China’s FDI strategy and its definitely started to bring results . The NRIs kids not just come unwillingly to tag along with their parents to visit their relatives but can be seen enjoying india and even coming on their own as well . Also the changing and infact booming economy has thrown a lot of opportunities and thus a lot of NRIs are coming back to india and trying hands in almost every sphere of life ,be it technology , business , social entrepreneur,social work ,politics  or even just for retiring . So the real hard part is over and the issue are generic which are their whether one is in any geographical location